The Obstructionist's Notebook

When it's cold

Things will be better when it’s cold. When I can walk around in the snowy city with a thick jacket and a scar: then life will be grand, all problems will fade—how can anyone be upset when it’s so nice and cold out.

I know, I know, I said when it was cold that life would be perfect when it got hot, but, this time, I really mean it: I hate the summer.

Things will be great when I live on the water. Water is the beginning of all life, water preceedes us and follows us; there’s no way I could be unhappy if I lived on the water.

So, yes, I used to complain about the smell of the East River on my window, but, really, being landlocked kills me, is responsible for all my problems.

Things will be better when I’m older. I hope.