The Obstructionist's Notebook

Mike Ran Away

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 15:26:01 -0400

Mike ran away from home. When I was a kid and the world was interlaced and orange and all you had to worry about was school and watching TV. Mike ran away from home because his mother-who worked-wouldn’t let him play little league or soccer or something. He ran away and older kids made him smoke pot and a dirty man tried to grab him and at night he hid in the playground. But it got cold. So Mike went home and at the end of the show, the real Mike (I think) came on the screen and told us to never, ever run away. And I didn’t.

When it's cold

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:16:08 -0400

Things will be better when it’s cold. When I can walk around in the snowy city with a thick jacket and a scar: then life will be grand, all problems will fade—how can anyone be upset when it’s so nice and cold out.

I know, I know, I said when it was cold that life would be perfect when it got hot, but, this time, I really mean it: I hate the summer.

Things will be great when I live on the water. Water is the beginning of all life, water preceedes us and follows us; there’s no way I could be unhappy if I lived on the water.

So, yes, I used to complain about the smell of the East River on my window, but, really, being landlocked kills me, is responsible for all my problems.

Things will be better when I’m older. I hope.

There are increasingly two kinds of people in this hyper-connected world of networks and...

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:49:33 -0400

There are increasingly two kinds of people in this hyper-connected world of networks and communities: There’s the conformist and non-conformist—due to the circumstances mentioned above, there’s now little in between. There are those, like myself and others, who are alway trying to be different, in fact, need to be different. That’s not to say that this correlates to quality. It doens’t. Often the herd is right and our objection to it leads to mediocrity and worthlessness.
The other group, the conformists, are increasingly entering conformity not because, simply, it’s the path of least resistance, but because they’ve made a highly well-thought out choice to join the march. It’s the high-school syndrome playing out on a global level. And it’s fucking scary…

What if there were a religion that accepted God as inperfect? Just about all current beliefs revolve...

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 22:56:00 -0400

What if there were a religion that accepted God as inperfect? Just about all current beliefs revolve around the existence of a infallible being, as do all current disbeliefs. But what about a God that got angry and destroyed a few villages? What about a God that got scared and became too frightened to protect the weak? What about a vain god, a god that got jealous, and a god that doubted his abilities to attract women?

God, is it easy to buy into apocalyptic furor. Today, Oil shot up, unemployment skyrocketed, and the...

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:50:17 -0400

God, is it easy to buy into apocalyptic furor. Today, Oil shot up, unemployment skyrocketed, and the Dow Jones fell tremendously. What does any of that have to do with me? I don’t know, but I still somehow fear the worst. Things seem not right in the world, not in a ‘slump’, but just generally bad. I wish now that I had the slightest expereince with ‘Hard Times’.

Though nearly destroyed by a fucking bank, this is the last...

Tue, 27 May 2008 22:44:00 -0400

Though nearly destroyed by a fucking bank, this is the last surviving remnants of The Jewish East-side. All the names were of local Yiddish theater stars.

Video

Tue, 27 May 2008 14:11:28 -0400

I feel thoroughly embarrassed when friends attempt to introduce me to other writers, writing groups,...

Sun, 11 May 2008 14:23:03 -0400

I feel thoroughly embarrassed when friends attempt to introduce me to other writers, writing groups, or group writing projects. I must admit that I have absolutely NO interest in any of them; nor do I wish to talk about writing, or anything related to my own writing. I’m a writer of fiction, not a writer of writing. When I see supposed writers online talking endlessly about their own writing, how they write, when they write, what they write about, etc. I think “Why not stop talking about writing and actually do some”. And furthermore, how can you possibly give away what’s in your head before you’re finished mining it. Seems dangerous to me.

Take The L Train

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:57:59 -0400

The thugs jump around lighty in the light wind on the open platform like boxers, hitting like butterflys, not wanting to sting their friends. It’s been a long day. The young latin girls, their caps’ brims as stiff as the boys from before, whisper about the black men who whistled at them safely from a block away. God, the day was long. The furry man with a defeated frown tucks his hands in his old sweatshirt, protecting their dirt from the wind. It’s been a long life. The college kid who can’t afford the LES smiles at the night air, hoping a whimsical detachment will protect him from all of this. A long year.

A man is punished for a crime (something heinous) by being forced to fall in love with someone...

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:54:24 -0400

A man is punished for a crime (something heinous) by being forced to fall in love with someone unattainable.

I’m getting terribly bored with all of this. No, not with you my dear Tumblr because you...

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 11:19:19 -0400

I’m getting terribly bored with all of this. No, not with you my dear Tumblr because you listen, you don’t interrupt with useless, repetetive, petty garbage. I’m spending all of my time on my own site, where I control everything. I’m tired of the ‘conversation’, I increasingly want to yell: “Just shut the fuck up for a minute and listen!”. Maybe we shouldn’t all have an opinion or a site or a show or a platform. Or maybe I’m just selfish. But all of this seems to be making things worse, not better.

The sadness and finality of being the last member.

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:16:41 -0400

The sadness and finality of being the last member.

Returned today to ground-zero for the first time since weeks after the attack. Not much to say, not...

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:10:53 -0400

Returned today to ground-zero for the first time since weeks after the attack. Not much to say, not much to feel and, certainly, not much to see. But, as usual, New Yorkers were far more concerned with getting the tourists out of their way, then with the debris of tragedy lying next to them. If any one was still wonder: Yes, we really have moved on.

For reasons I may explain at a later date, I was remeniscing today about being ten-years old. When I...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 22:30:28 -0400

For reasons I may explain at a later date, I was remeniscing today about being ten-years old. When I was thirteen I thought endlessly about my twenties. I think that even the most strident, radical optimist has little or no love for the present. The optimist looks forward, the pessimist looks back, but there’s no word for he who loves the current because, well, I don’t think such a person exists.

There are of course also the lesser conspiracies, the more “believable” ones. These...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:54:27 -0400

There are of course also the lesser conspiracies, the more “believable” ones. These plots involve our elected officials, our bosses, our parents, and so on. They paint us as the victim of a over-reaching system that, at every turn, has foiled our ability to anything and thus left us unable to do anything. That’s not to say that ‘they’ are right—The politican, the boss, the parent—far from it, they’re usually wrong. However, when we decide that their evil is so magnimous and so unreacheable, we have, in effect, done their work for them. But throwing up our hands and saying “They have too much power”, we give ourselves easy cover to go back to sleep.

My personal idea of metrics is this: If I know for certain that at least a couple dozen people have...

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:15:57 -0400

My personal idea of metrics is this: If I know for certain that at least a couple dozen people have found out, from me, that the King James’ Bible’s namesake was an unapologetic, flagrant, and undeniable homosexual, then I feel I’ve done something worthwhile. If 1/8 of those people go to church next Sunday, stare a little harder at the text, and ask “What the hell did that freak put in here?” then I know I’ve done something meaningful. If you don’t understand that, then we have radically different views about what ‘reach’ means.

I’m finally, truly, happy with what my site is becoming: Writing about the things I want and...

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:12:06 -0400

I’m finally, truly, happy with what my site is becoming: Writing about the things I want and even being at-least mildly subversive, if only enough that I can sleep at night. I’m probably losing people and hits since I took complete abstinence from all ‘social media’/tech talk, but I could really care less. I’m buidling an intellectual paper trail, not gaming TechMeme. My audience will find me. If they know what’s good for them.

For some reason I find myself watching this repeatedly....

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:19:11 -0400

For some reason I find myself watching this repeatedly. It’s, seriously, one of the most subversive things I’ve seen in a while.

Funny, all this talk of recession. While I can’t help but attribute some of it to that same...

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 01:30:15 -0400

Funny, all this talk of recession. While I can’t help but attribute some of it to that same thing which makes the news media report endlessly on possible terrorist attacks, possible natural disasters, and possible epidemic outbreaks, still, we do seem long overdue on a economic humbling. No American my age really knows what ‘poverty’ means or knows true ‘want’ for that matter.

But I do hesitate to join in with those who would blame a politician or single political philosphy for any downturn. Seems to me a low-point is part of the natural order. With two decades of unheard of wealth, did we really think it would last forever? Everything comes to an end, but of ends come re-births and so on…

I’ve been bitching a lot lately about how much I hate all this marketing talk, all business...

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:39:46 -0500

I’ve been bitching a lot lately about how much I hate all this marketing talk, all business “conversation”s we seem to be embracing. There’s no artists online, everyone just wants to be an ad-man and a strategist. Truth is, though, my anger is that I want my work taken seriously and everyone’s fucking ruining it for me.